I think this may work better on my little NetBook.

I agree with Ilya that we tend to cheer the under dog. An example of this is that I am fiercely loyal to the Chicago Cubsright now. In a way, I think we are mixed. We may have a favorite who is not the under dog, but still at least a part of our heart does cheer the under dog. Some of Dierdre's messages that she received indicated this.

2. I think we get messages as little girls that say we are less, and if we had a weight problem and were made fun of because of it, we will carry that around for a long time. My mom once told me, "You know, you are a pig." And I live with it. It is really hard to get beyond those things. Her family loved her, but they had no idea where she was coming from. Tag was charismatic, she was quiet. She lived in his shadow and tended to see him as more than he was.

3. I think Tag was insecure. If he was honest with himself, he had some considerable charm, but in a way he didn't have the abilities of some of the rest of his family, particularly the sisters. He sort of began living into the notion that he needed them to take care of him so he could function, and they enabled it.

4. The weight gain is something that people loathe, and they think of thin as beautiful, so although it is external with Ashley, it is equally debilitating. And, of course, in this day there has been enough publicity of eating disorders that I picked up on this issue right away. We have to name our fear, and then we have to bull doze it. I have a fear of falling on a sidewalk and cutting my face again and then walking home in the state of messiness and fear, or even being hurt worse. I have to namje that fear; then I have to make myself go out and do it, and I have to keep on until the fear is gone. I have the eating for comfort issue, and I have battled some of those same self-talk issues that
Dierdre has. While we are working toward healing, we also have to find other means of soothing our insecurities.

5. I like Steve a lot. He's funny, he's kind, he met Dierdre under one of the worst possible situations (can you ikmagine?) but he liked her, even cared for her anyway. He was patient even when she ran. I think he is someone who can give he the support she needs to grow.

1. "Americans love to cheer the underdog" 

I think we all consider ourself the underdog in some ways. I agree with the other readers take on it also. I think that people want to see a regular person succeed, like one reader said "against all odds". It gives us the hope we are looking for that we too can rise about our circumstances or past and  change our lives.

2. I struggle with self image also. I think its how you were raised or how we were encouraged as children. I try to teach the inner value in each of us to my kids but the world is very smart in promoting things on the tv and magazines and schools. Even beautiful people on the outside are insecure. Its hard to move on until you can see your self worth or overcoming the fear that controls us.

3. Tag does seem very insecure. How could he not? He has 2 failed marriages. He may seem 'together' at his seminars but sometimes people are in this profession because they would rather focus on other people's problem rather than fix their own. I think he desires as much approval from his family as Deidre does.

4. I understand this all to well. I have been self soothing with food since i was little, yet until I reached my 30s when I got pregnant I kept my weight under control.  Bullemia help when I was a teenager. But when I began experiencing throat pain I had to stop. Then I became addicted to exercise and reading diet books. Notice I said 'reading' and not 'doing'.  In my mind I was 50lbs overwerigh because I wasnt 90lbs. I am 5'6 and I wanted to be 5'0 and look like Ashleyjanedobbs. NOW I actually am overweight and finding healthy was to overcome this is a puzzle. I also use my weight as a barrier to keep men from being atracted to me. One of my fears is that I will be rejected by people and ultimately be alone. I overcome this by trying new things and being myself. Its ok if not everyone likes me. Even this book club bring a little fear… At the end of the day we must love ourselves and we only need to please ourselves, because everyone where you go there you are. Learning self care has helped. With 5 kids I want to help everyone else. Put on your own oxygen mask first. 

5. I like Steve. They will have to date and see, but the fact that he wasnt trying to use Deirdre to get to Tag is a good sign. The fact that he waited all that time to talk to her  …Thats all I want to say because I read the rest of the book and I forget what happened when, so I dont want to spoil it.

This was my first book club. I have been coming to this site for over 6 months and everybook I read from her was extraordinary! Loved Violets of March and Far from here the best. Currently reading GUEST BOOK.  

I have loved reading all the answers to the questions and guess I don't have much to add.    I agree that Tag is pretty full of himself.  And it's sad he always seems to be picking on his sister.  And I do like Steve.

1. I think we like to cheer for the underdog because we all know there's greater things in wach one of us than we currently experience. When we see someone else achieve "the impossible" it gives us hope for our own big hairy dreams!

2. Whenever we use comparison as our gauge, we either come up short, or we get filled with pride.

3. Could be either A or B! In real life I find it interesting how sibling can be raised by the same parents in the same house & each kid responds totally different to the environment.

4. Life! Learning, growing, gaining insight, wanting inner healing, not wanting it….reminds me of the Emancipation Proclamation…freedom was provided but some refused it because while slavery had its misery, there was a certain comfort in it. Our own dysfunction seems quite normal! And with it comes the avoidance of personal responsibility or accountability.

5. I like Steve! I think he could be very good for her. Now to finish the book and see what happens!