Christa Allan
If I’m going to be honest about my dishonesty, then I must be honest that the idea for this post did not originate with me.
A month or so ago, I started working with the savvy Beth Jusino, a freelance publishing consultant. She sent me an extensive questionnaire to answer prior to creating my (astounding!)Book Marketing Plan. I shared that I couldn’t get a handle on my website/blog, not the design of it, but the direction of it.
The resulting telephone conversation (loosely paraphrased) after I read the plan, went something like this:
Beth: How is it that you write novels where you’re not afraid to tackle tough issues, the emotions no one wants to own, but you sound like Pollyanna on your blog?
Me: I didn’t want to upset or offend anyone.
Beth: I think that’s a blog post.
Am I intentionally hiding behind my fiction?
I don’t believe my blog should be a confessional for all my sins, a sales pitch for my books, or a dumping ground for minutiae. I doubt readers care to know my grocery list or the details of my dentist appointment.
But I did choose to be safe. To not discuss controversial topics or, if I did, leave my stance ambiguous. To not share much of what I wrestle with morally, both inside and outside of my writing. To not write more about places where my life intersects with my books.
Why? Because I feared being judged, being outcasted, being ridiculed. Because I wanted people to think, “That Christa writes about some real issues, but she’s such a nice person.”
In writing this, I remembered a widget, years earlier, that kept a real time count of abortions in the United States. After copying the code into my blog, I deleted it. I rationalized that the blog was too new for me to “rock the boat” and engage in pro-life vs. pro-choice controversy.
What makes all of this wretchedly ironic is I’m the once divorced, twice married, recovering alcoholic Christian wife of a Jewish husband, mother of twins (one of the two has Down’s Syndrome) plus three other children, a daughter whose husband is black (and she’s not), and sister of a gay brother.
It would be stupid for anyone to go to a dry well. Why would I want my readers to go to a blog that offers them nothing beyond the sanitized?
Many of them face ugly, painful truths. Am I telling them it’s acceptable for fictional people to play in the mud of that, but we real ones need to avoid the muck?
If I want readers to know who I am beyond the pithy bio on the back of my novels, being honest about my dishonesty is an honest beginning.
About Ariel Lawhon
Ariel Lawhon is the co-founder of She Reads, novelist, blogger, and life-long reader. She lives in Texas with her husband and four young sons (aka The Wild Rumpus). Ariel believes that Story is the shortest distance to the human heart.
You made my day! I didn’t know that any one in the Proverbs 31 ministries is in recovery. I’m in recovery too! Thanks so much for being honest. I love that about this group of sweet sisters. I feel more at home here than anywhere now. I subscribe to your posts. I’m in the hidden joy online study with melissa taylor and God has really made His way into the darkest corner of my world. I’m rejoicing in freedom like never before. I love you all!
In Him
Kim
Love this post and how real it feels!
I LOVE this post! I think it’s great that you can tackle the tough issues in fictional books, but it’s even better to come to terms and acknowledge them in your own life, in front of an audience of blog readers. I, for one, am glad to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with these issues and who has “baggage”. Reading about it is great, but to find other “real” people who are struggling just like me is an amazing thing and makes me feel somewhat normal.
Thank you for sharing.
Jennifer
JENNIFER: Thanks, it’s comforting for me to know I’m in great company. I just clicked over to your blog. What a great look, and I’m already captured by the novel! Thanks for stopping by.
JENNIFER K:
OOPS…That comment slipped by….what I meant to write:
JENNIFER K: What are the odds of two consecutive Jennifers?! I teach English, so I couldn’t begin to know. But I do thank you for your kind words.
KIM: Welcome and congrats on your recovery…one day at a time, and I’ve been sober for over 20 years now. Last year, She Reads and Proverbs 21 opened there hearts to me, and my first novel, WALKING ON BROKEN GLASS was one of the novels selected. The main character is a woman who has to face sobriety or else…
So glad you found your way here, and please know you’re never alone.
If someone with a Y chromosome can slip into a site named “she reads,” allow me to congratulate you for featuring Christa. I’ve gotten to know her as a fellow author and a friend. Other than a frustrating tendency to be a rabid fan of “that football team from the bayou,” she’s a wonderful person. I applaud her honesty in her writing and in her public utterances. Thanks for letting others get to know her as well.
Christa – All of this makes you a fresh breeze in the christian fiction market! Thanks for keeping it real – your description of yourself cracked me up! And I can relate! I’m not sure if it’s getting older or more life experience or what – but I am so hungry for Christians to be the ones who breathe a message of grace instead of judgment, especially to those who don’t fit our cookie cutter ideas of Christians. But even more importantly -as your post illustrates – I want Christians to be the ones to be honest about not fitting into those cookie-cutter molds. Thank you for doing that!
Wow. You remind me of me.
And now you’ve got me thinking. I could stand to be more brave in my blogging as well. I often avoid taking a stance for exactly the same reason: I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. And even worse than that: What if they don’t come back to my blog!
Thanks for a great post.
Christa —
LOVE this post. Thank you for pressing on through life and fiction.
Richard: You and your Y chromosome are always welcomed. In fact, I applaud you for being brave and not allowing a letter of the alphabet to slow you down.
You have been such an encourager. I appreciate all that you do to help me.
V.V.: For so many years I feared rocking the boat, you know? But I still expected it to move in the water. Duh! There are a gazillion people in the blogging universe. If we lose a few along the way, we’ll still be fine!
Melanie: You are so kind because there are some who might say I’m a bag of wind…And, I do agree that age and experience make the shallow less tolerable. Thanks for being here.
Sibella: What a lovely name, and-wow-four novels, a Christy, and two Pulitzer nominations? What a slacker! Going back to your blog to check out your novels. And I am so glad you stopped by. Thank you.
Amazing post. Because I too have played it mostly safe on my blog. Intentionally. I wonder if that’s why my blog followers have not grown much in number. Have to figure out how to share my reality without impinging on the privacy of my family. It has to be my choice about me, not about them in any way that shares more than they are ready to reveal or that embarrasses them, I think.
Patricia: I hear you on that one! There are times my husband, children, and a few friends eye me suspiciously and say, “I don’t want to read about this in your blog or in a book, okay?”
And we do need to respect the boundaries of other people. Sometimes, if I feel like it’s an important post, I’ll ask first. If ever I feel uneasy hitting the “post” button, I figure that’s a message.
Appreciate your comment.
I cannot express what hope this blog gave me today. It has been a rotten couple of days, although I’m persevering through the study with Melissa Taylor and loving it. Thank you for being REAL, it’s like the Mandisa song on her new album. Please don’t stop now, you have us all hanging on to your blog, speechless and yet relieved that we are not alone in all of our “stuff”. Thank you again and God Bless YOU and your family!
Kristi: I hesitated sending this post to She Reads because I didn’t know if it would be a “fit” for both readers and writers. Plus, once you out yourself, you’re out.
Ariel assured me that others would be able to relate. I’ve been blessed by everyone who has expressed their own difficulties. Not because they’re struggling too, but because we can start tearing down walls and building bridges.
Good luck with your study. I know you will persevere.
Christa, First, big smooches to Beth Jusino for being the wake up call of the year. She sounds like someone I would like very much. Speaking as someone who has had the pleasure to getting to know you this past year or so, I’m so proud to see you coming out on this blog!
You’re brave. And yes, you will get some people upset. But I know you’re not writing these things because you want to upset people. You’re writing them because you’re desperate to point people to the only truth that will set them free.
Kudos!
You go, girl. Way to take the honest voice I love to hear and put it out there. It’s almost as good as what you’re saying on your own blog (plug: go to http://www.christaallan.com)
(Oh, and thanks, Bonnie.)
Bonnie: You and Beth would certainly be BFFs. And I’ll treasure your words to carry me through those times when wish I was enamored with writing about marshmallow fluff.
Since no matter what you do, somebody’s going to hate you for it, I figure you might as well let them hate you for who you really are.
Christa,
This place of honesty is where I feel a connection with you. When I’m risk telling the truth as an author, whether in my books or on my blog, I find comfort in knowing there’s someone out there taking the same risks. The truth does indeed set us free.
LOVED this post!
Thanks.
Keith : Appreciate the perspective. Makes me wonder if there are people I might actually like if they were who they really are.
Ginny : Ditto. Someone told me my tagline should be “in your face” fiction. I wasn’t sure if it was meant as a compliment. An Elton John song that revs me up is “I’m Still Standing.” Now that I think about it, it’s a kind of in your face song….
Christa, one of my favorite things about you is your honesty (not to mention your spunk and your sense of humor). I’m so glad you chose to spill your heart here. It’s an honor. And I can’t wait to hear more honest insights from you!
Oh, and Doc, of course readers with the Y chromosome are welcome here. The “She” in She Reads simply has to do with those of us behind the scenes reading all these wonderful books. The more the merrier!
Beth and Ariel: Sometimes we need someone to cattle prod us into action!