Shattering the Myths of the Writing Life

Today’s post comes from Patti Hill, one of the contributors to our sister blog, Novel Matters.

You remember the movie, the one about an angst-riddled novelist with writer’s block? At the movie’s climax, an epiphany sends the novelist to his Smith-Corona to write, not eating or sleeping until a 500-page manuscript is neatly stacked on the corner of his desk. The time lapsed is sunset to sunrise. Ensuing scenes show the author in a custom-tailored tuxedo, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.

I am a novelist.

This is not my life.

And yet, this is the myth I swallowed as truth for an embarrassingly long time. And so, allow me to shatter these five popular myths about novelists and the lives they live.

Myth #1: The writing life is glamorous.

Fact: The book signing is the perfect counterexample to this myth. To prepare for a book signing, I send out press releases, dress in something that requires ironing, and fill a bowl the size of Lake Tahoe with chocolates, all in hopes of attracting readers to my table. And still, potential readers avert their eyes as they do-si-do through tables of best sellers toward the espresso machine, sans my brain child.

Here are a few things I’ve considered to increase traffic to my table: 1) Serve prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes with steamed asparagus. 2) Hogtie browsing readers in the magazine section and drag them to the table. 3) Offer a free pony with every book sold.

Book signings are humbling experiences. Redemption comes when a bookstore staff-person buys a book for her grandmother. I have to wonder: Am I too eager? Should I offer homemade ice cream? Am I here to learn something about humility? Yes. No. Absolutely.

Myth #2: Novelists are rich.

Fact: The average number of novels sold by an author is 9. This means some poor author has lost every last book on the way to the book distributor (this happens to me all the time), and another author has sold an obscene number of books. The rest of us land somewhere in the expansive middle of the continuum, most clustered toward the zero end.

I am richer from entering the writing world in ways impossible to tally in a ledger. My circle of friends has exploded since publication, and these friends—readers and other writers—make me exceedingly rich. They are smart, Jesus-loving, story-passionate people. Also, I have entered into a deeper relationship with my Savior. I lean on Him more than ever. (See Myth #1, 2, 3, 4, & 5.)

Myth #3: Writing comes easily to the gifted.

Fact: A story that captivates, immerses, and surprises a reader is incredibly difficult to write, especially for the gifted. The gifted tend to envision things that are impossible to accomplish. The only way to make the job possible is to do it. The struggle to create equips us to create. This seems like a mobius strip of logic, but it’s the truth.

Myth #4: Typing “The End” sends a writer into a euphoric episode of bliss.

Fact: Typing “The End” slides the panic lever from mildly distraught to unbridled hysteria. This is when, as L. Sprague de Camp so eloquently says, “we discover our brainchild is an idiot savant.” First, the editor writes pages of substantive revision “suggestions.” This can mean anything from a character name-change to “the last two-thirds of the book doesn’t work. Please rewrite by Tuesday.” Next, the grammar Nazi suggests you reread your seventh-grade English book before attempting corrections. Sigh. And we all hold our breath until we see the cover art. This is the equivalent of checking for fingers and toes at the birth of a child. And then come the reviews—sorry, this is too painful. Can we talk about root canals or getting our lips waxed instead?

Myth #5: Writers sit at their writing desks in silk pajamas.

Fact: Sweats are the writer’s silk.

Here is my favorite quote about writing novels:

“People without hope do not write novels. Writing a novel is a terrible experience, during which the hair often falls out and the teeth decay. I’m always highly irritated by people who imply that writing fiction is an escape from reality. It is a plunge into reality and it’s very shocking to the system. If the novelist is not sustained by a hope of money, then he must be sustained by a hope of salvation, or he simply won’t survive the ordeal.” – FLANNERY O’CONNOR, MYSTERY AND MANNERS

The Christian novelists I know are sustained by the hope of hearing, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Hug your local novelist today.

Patti Hill lives with her husband, Dennis, in western Colorado where they enjoy cooking for crowds, gardening, hiking, and hanging with family and friends. They teach a weekly Bible study in their home and serve their church in hospitality ministries. They have two amazing grown sons. Patti is the author of five contemporary women’s fiction novels. Her first novel, Like a Watered Garden, was a 2006 Christy Award Finalist. In her latest novel, Seeing Things, a woman with vision impairment sees things others don’t, including Huckleberry Finn. This whimsical yet poignant story underscores the importance of forgiveness and seeing things and people with fresh eyes.

You can read the first chapters of Patti’s books at www.pattihillauthor.com and listen to the story behind Seeing Things.